What’s the Protocol?

I never thought I’d view a crib as an enemy. I mean, it’s an inanimate object, right?

My son went to the doctor two weeks ago for his two month check-up and shots. The doctor said he is the size of a four month old. Yep, that’s right. If that’s not enough, the little goober has outgrown the bassinet he’s been sleeping in for the past 2.5 months. He’s been too big for a while, and I have been telling myself, “Well- put him in his crib one nap at a time, and wean him from the bassinet.” What I’ve found: it’s not a dang pacifier. He’s not attached to the dang bassinet (much as I’d like him to be). I laid him down in his crib this afternoon for his first “big boy nap” (don’t mock me), and the little dude fell right asleep. The nerve! Doesn’t he know this is hard on me? I don’t want to move him into his own bedroom, I’ve gotten quite used to him sleeping in the bassinet right next to my side of the bed, in my bedroom. It’s not just me, though- it’s hubby. I sent him a text this afternoon:

Me: So I guess we should move him into his own room?
Hubby: Ugh.

I just laid him in his crib a few minutes ago for his first full night in his own room. I’ve been mentally preparing myself all day for it (again: DON’T MOCK!) and hubby just informed me, “He’s not sleeping in there all night. When it’s time for us to go to bed, we’ll move him back into our room.”

Oy. What’s the protocol? Are we being ridiculous & do we just need to bite the bullet? The kid’s happy in his own room. My hubby and I, however… are being sentimental saps who can’t move on. Give it to me straight, people. I seem to have lost my back bone.

Outgrowing the bassinet.

(wah!)

Doodies of a mom.

I just Googled images of “Fat Chicks” to find a funny picture to put in my blog & talk about how my diet is going- but I found this picture, and it really spoke to me (in a non-hippy, weirdo type of way). By the way, I don’t recommend Googling pictures of fat chicks. Unless you dig naked fat women.

It’s so true – at least for me – that whatever size I am, I always see someone bigger in the mirror. Lately I’ve been letting how I feel about myself affect how I treat people… Well, mainly my husband. I’m not happy with my size, so I figure he is not happy with my size. Which- I know better than that, because he has been such a good sport about my weight through my whole pregnancy and even afterwards. “It’s OK, babe- you had a baby two months ago!” He doesn’t love me for my body, he loves me for my fabulous wit and dizzying intellect. Ok, I made that part up- but I’m pretty sure there’s more to it than my body. For some reason I don’t hear what he’s saying, and I choose to have a rotten attitude towards him, because I don’t feel good about my appearance.

So from now on, I’m not going to post about my weight in numbers (unless I lose a million pounds, that has got to win me bragging rights… Right?). Of course I’m on a venture to look better but it’s not just about that, it’s about feeling better- and I think the two go hand in hand. Does that make sense? Yesterday was my first day of doing Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred, and I already feel more confident and stronger. But when I look in the mirror, I see Fat Chick again. It’s a process, but I feel like I’m on my way to looking and feeling better- and treating my poor husband a little nicer.

But for now, I have a little dude who just woke up in his swing, and I hear him filling his drawers. The duties of a mom… Or is it “doodies” of a mom? Ok, ok. I’ll go.

Ribbit.

Try to look at this picture and not get “Froggie Went A-Courtin’” stuck in your head.

Froggie went a-courtin’ and he did ride, mm-mmmmm.

Okay, peeps.

I have little to no self control. Closer to the “no self control” part of the spectrum. I haven’t weighed myself since my last “I’m Fatter than Fat” post, but I’m pretty sure my weight situation has not changed, because I just cannot trust myself around food! I cannot have anything that isn’t fruit or vegetables in my home, because I will EAT IT! Even if I don’t have anything particularly unhealthy in my house, if I have the ingredients to make something unhealthy, I will MAKE IT!

Example: Last night I made this for dinner:

Yeah yeah, healthy- whatever. I am my own worst enemy: the whole time I was eating it my brain was going, “This is healthy. Think of all the unhealthy things you can eat now!” My self control sustained me for a while, but at about 8:30 I thought, “SOUR CREAM POUND CAKE!” So what did I do? I made a sour cream pound cake. I didn’t binge eat it or anything, I had a tiny slice before bed, and a slightly larger slice this morning with my coffee (and sent the rest to work with hubby). The point is, my life would have been FINE without any sour cream coffee cake. It’s just this self control. I have none, and I think it’s time to bite the bullet and purchase 30 Day Shred. Seriously. Tonight.

When you look at this, picture my big fat, jiggly rear as the punching bag- because Jillian Michaels is going to whip me into shape. I’m sick of being fat!

For Realsies?

Don’t judge me. I’ve been sucked into watching probably the most ridiculous television show of all time… It’s on ABC Family, and it is called the Secret Life of an American Teenager. I started watching it because I wanted an “in” on what teens are like today. Each week I am HORRIFIED and hope that this is not a factual depiction of what today’s teens are like. For example: in one episode the word “sex” was used 51 times. Seriously? This show is racier than Sex and the City. Here’s a look-see. Yes, I said look-see.

After watching that, I just have one question: FOR REALSIES? I mean, SERIOUSLY? Are kids like that? And if so… Is it too late to take back motherhood? Because that just freaks the living crap out of me. We’re talking cold sweats and eye twitching. If kids are like that today, what are they going to be like 13 years from now when my son is a teenager? Is there even hope to raise a normal, pure kid in this world?

Slowest Loser.

Bah!! Deep breath. Inspired by Luxe Skinny, who is doing a weight loss blog, yesterday I felt all empowered and said, “I’m going to post pictures of myself to help me lose weight!” Now, I’m not feeling so eager but here we go.

When I got married I was: 140 pounds.

When I got pregnant I was: 150 pounds*.


(I’m on the left. This is the only profile picture I could find. I wasn’t pregnant! I didn’t know I would be one day doing this!)

Weight gained during pregnancy: 48 pounds.
*I’m 5′8″. Not heavy, but definitely curvy.

So that makes the grand total 198 pounds. I can HEAR your jaws dropping.

One week after that I had my check-up to see how I was healing. The scale said I had lost 30 pounds! 10 of it was child and 20 was water. Piece of cake. 30 pounds lost, and I didn’t even do anything! The rest will come off easy peasy. Right?

So that brings us to 168 pounds. 18 pounds away from my start weight. Two weeks ago I had my six week check-up, and I had lost one pound in five weeks. 17 pounds from my start weight.

Start weight at diet: 167 pounds. So here’s the real fun part. Current pictures? Please say I’m ballsy or something for doing this, that will make it much easier. Here we go:

Nice outfit, eh? I really dressed up for you guys.

I’ve started over with a healthy mindset, and although it won’t be easy, I need to get exercise (while Will is napping? once Jason gets home from work? I have no clue!)! Jason stepped on the scale the other day, and he’s gained 13 pounds (sympathy weight?) – It hit me how important it is, since I’m the one in the house who feeds us, to fix health conscious foods. So this marks my journey for weight loss! Wish me luck!

To take the edge off of the chubster pictures, here are a couple pics of my main squeeze:

Something to sweeten your Monday.

A little bit of fat man.

Check out that tuft of long hair on the top of his head. That’s the only hair he has.

Homeboy is fifteen pounds. A fifteen pound two month old.

2010.

The first week of a new year is almost over, and here I am sitting at my computer desk reflecting on how huge of a year this was! Life changing things happened- both beautiful things, and things I don’t care to take with me into 2010. So as I sit here, with a seven week old boy sitting on my lap (he’s farting up a storm, no less), I’m thinking about the past and what I’d like this year to hold (and not hold).

My son. 2009 held such a life changing event! Last year at this time I had no idea the incredible miracle that would be in my life at the beginning of 2010. My entire life was all about me in an incredibly selfish way, and in November that changed. This next year I’m looking forward to learning in, growing from, and adoring my brand new little family.

My God. Remember that selfish part of the previous post? It’s carrying on to this. Somewhere along the line I kind of lost track of what my life should be about and Who I should surrender to every day. My Lord.

My Family. In 2009 my Dad resigned from the job that he had made his life’s work for 20 years. In September my parents moved to the same town as me, and it’s been so amazing to have them here. Honestly, I don’t remember what it was like the past three years to be away from them! I can’t wait to see what this year will hold for my family.

Drama. Here’s something I’d like to leave behind for the rest of my life. Family can be a beautiful thing, but it can also be a thorn in the side. My husband’s extended family has been broken for a long time. It’s not something we talk about much, but it’s caused a lot of hurts in his immediate family’s life. I experienced a little something- well, a pretty big something- with my family this year, which severed quite a few relationships and left everyone hurting. I’d like to move on from this and grow from the experience. Easier said than done. Leaning on the Lord’s strength to help me is the key.

Weight. Hey, I had a kid two months ago! I’ve got stretch marks, loose skin, and an ugly c-section scar that didn’t disappear a week after I had him. I’d like to find (somewhere) determination and will power to get back to my size 8… Which isn’t a spectacular size, but it would be a start. I visited the doctor last week and the ugly scale said I have 17 pounds to go. Bah!

Husband. What an amazing guy. We definitely grew closer to each other throughout my pregnancy, but since I’ve had Will I’ve had some crazy hormonal situation where I bite his head off, and say things to him that I regret five seconds after I say them, and that don’t carry across how grateful to him I am for everything he does. It hurts him. He does everything for our family, and I’d like to get back to the place where I treat him kindly. It’s hard to admit this, but hey- it’s all about “resolutions,” right?

Here’s to 2010, and having the strength to make positive changes. And to make this post not seem so heavy, here’s a picture of my huge kid.

Slump.

Yeah, so I guess it’s no secret that I haven’t blogged in a while. My mother keeps nagging me about it and to be honest: it’s a slump. Mama Gooch. I was a preggo blog, and… well, I had the kid so now what? The thing is this: While I was pregnant I followed several pregnant blogs. The girls had their kids, and kept blogging and for some reason I am so bored to death with them. I don’t want to bore anyone. Seven weeks ago today I had my beautiful baby boy, and I suppose it’s decision time: keep blogging, or stop? That is, to assume, anyone still reads this after me going one whole month without blogging. The audacity. So, if anyone is wonderful enough to still be reading this: I apologize. I’ll keep blogging about what I know best: My life. My baby. Silly little things.

Seven weeks is a long time. See how crazy fast my babe has grown?

(day one)

(my Christmas elf)

Not to make up excuses, but it’s hard to keep up when you’ve got a kid growing so fast! I know, I know. Other people do it. Other people excel. No more excuses. So where do I begin in blogging about my experience of being a mommy thus far? I was laying in bed last night wondering. Maybe eventually I’ll be clever like Lauren and Chelsea, where on certain days I blog about certain things, but for now- I can’t handle thinking about that. So I started thinking about how terrifying having a kid can be, and how some couples just can’t make up their minds about it. Heck, it took us three years… which is not very long compared to some. What do people do when they can’t make a decision?  So I was going to make a pro and con list  - about how my life has been so drastically changed by a one William Marshall. But here’s the thing: I couldn’t come up with any cons. Even the rough things like when he’s screaming and you don’t know how to console him – eventually you do, because you’re his mom. When it’s 7:00 at night and you’re exhausted and you have no idea what to make for dinner… When you’re trying to blog and he wakes up in his swing screaming and he is now sitting on your lap (which just happened). Suddenly those aren’t bad things and… I can’t even stress how worth it this is. Life changing, hard, beautiful, work, sweet, smelly, worth it.

I mean, look at him.

So, that’s it for now. I promise I will blog more frequently and actually have an agenda when I do so. But for right now, that little boy is squirming on my lap,  grinning up at me and suddenly I can’t think of anything else to say.

Dear Fisher Price…

Thank you so much for inventing this swing. It gently rocks my otherwise crabby baby to sleep when I cannot. Which results in me clinging to my sanity for yet one more day. I love you. No, really. If I weren’t already married, I would want to marry you and have little Fisher Price swing babies. If that were even possible.

In other news: can we just talk about how chubby this kid is getting? I mean, seriously. Props to breast milk. Not too toot my own horn or anything… no pun intended. Womp womp.